Thursday, July 23, 2009

Shock, Surprise and Sadness

Sorry it has been a while since I posted. Life was crazy there for about 10 days…so let me fill you in. Sunday June 12, after a nice dinner with the family and a big mojito, Joel made me buy a pregnancy test as I was a wee bit late. I, obviously, did not think I was pregnant or I would not have had el grande mojito! You can imagine my shock when I saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test. After 12 years of marriage, twins via IVF 5 years ago, I did not know that natural conception was in the cards for us! SO the following days were filled with surprise, thinking how our lives would be changing (you know I have only mentioned how excited I am about the girls starting kindergarten, what maybe a 100 times?) Planning where we might put a baby, (the stamping room is severely off limits!) Planning what kind of exercise I could do, (Bikram was probably out for sure!) and oh yeah, traveling to Oklahoma for our visit. Like I said surprise and craziness were rampant. I kept thinking that a normal healthy pregnancy might be doable, it would be nice to actually hear my baby’s first cry, have my husband there for the delivery, take my baby home when I go home from the hospital, just have one baby to focus on instead of spread thin with two…all those things that we did NOT have with the girls! So mentally, I was getting prepared and excited. We still had not quite adjusted to being in Oklahoma yet, but we then traveled down to my Dad’s for the weekend to visit him and see a few Oklahoma sights. We took the kids to the Jasmine Moran Children’s Museum in Seminole on Saturday, which I have to say, was absolutely fabulous! The girls had a ball and I noticed a little brown spotting while I was there. That continued for 4 days, but from all my internet research didn’t appear to be much cause for worry. I was still adjusting to the fact that I was really pregnant, which means in translation….going through coffee withdrawals and hormones sans alcohol. Intolerable conditions! (You guys probably think I am a lush..I am doing good having 1 drink per weekend..but I sure enjoy it!!!) Tuesday, I took the girls to swimming lessons and noticed some red bleeding. Bummer…definitely not a good sign!

I spent the rest of the day at the ER where they did an ultrasound and saw a gestational sac, but no baby. My hcg levels were ok for a 5 week pregnancy, but when I didn’t see any baby, I just knew something was wrong. I saw the girls heartbeats at 4 weeks! But the doctors could only tell me it was 50/50 at that point. They told me to come back on Thursday and check my hcg level again. Today I went in, and found out that my hcg level had dropped significantly. I found out that my situation is called a blighted ovum. I had the feeling on Tuesday that all was not right, so in most ways, I was prepared for today. It still stinks and I am sad, but at the same time, I was also still in shock that I was pregnant at all! Especially when I had no idea that we could procreate!

On a happier note, I will be able to enjoy my trip to Salt Lake City for the Stampin’ Up Convention much more! I was worried about being overtired and all the walking. I also know that everything happens for a reason and I could not have done justice to my family if I had had a difficult pregnancy. As big as my girls are getting, they still need Mom in so many ways and I must be available for that!

In between all this drama, I have been designing cards like crazy to prepare for convention, although I haven’t photographed anything yet! Yikes! I made about 20 samples and my sister in law and I each picked three to work on for our swaps. We are also designing two 3d swaps as well. I am going to make either a post-it note holder, or a planner and Amy is going to make a bag tag. I think I finally have it all designed, we have a bunch of stuff cut up and we are just waiting on our order to finalize everything.

For your eye candy today, I had not shown you yet our friend PK’s birthday invitation. She is having a fun penguin pool party. Wish we could be there! Here’s what her invites look like:

july 014

So that sums up the past 10 days! Much happier topics the next time around, I promise. But it is what it is, and life goes on…and the little arms I had around my neck tonight at bedtime make every moment worthwhile!

Ciao for now………Deidre


Mary said...

Deidre, was so surprised, shocked and SAD to read your post. Like you said, all things happen for a reason. God's master plan doesn't always match our plans. I know this has been difficult to deal with. So sorry my friend. Give the girls hugs from Miss Mary!

Amy said...

Deidre, I am so very sorry to hear this sad news. I will be praying for you during this difficult time.

Looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks.

Nikki Bond said...

Sorry to hear about your news...what a roller coaster you have been riding! I hope you are doing well and I look forward to seeing you at convention! Take care.